WHEN LIFE TOLD ME IT WAS DIFFICULT, I CHOSE TO BECOME STRONGER THAN WEAKER!

Love yourself! When someone says this to you, how do you react! HOW? Everything that I get in my head then is, “what do you think I’m doing? Like what?” Every day, when I cried my ass off, you weren’t there to stop me, to wipe my tears, or give me a sip of water or just stand by my side, see me tremble over! Cause yeah, my eyes were surplus of tears and busted like spillway, I was breathless like I had no oxygen left in the room, my veins were all drained like I had no blood left in them, my hands, shivering like leaves on a stormy day, my heart beat raised like the speed of bikes on a race track, and my mind filled with venomous ideas! There were times when I screamed quickly in my mind, when I closed the fingers of my shivering hands and punched them against the wall, when my throat wasn't even able to swallow the air I breath, when the traumas in my head never allowed me to fall asleep, when my head busted with pain, when my eyes gave up on the world, when blades rushed in...

When its you and 6 people around you! This is when you act! Act according to their will, their taste, and try to heed and react! But inside somewhere, you know your actions are just an act of sham! You know you can be the best version of yourself, and yet be accepted, but the discomposure is different! You tend to fall in the croud, and show an agitated version. Somewhere sometimes, this is just even more! You loose yourself and fall into the trap!  You get bounded by different interests, different openions, and different compositions, yet try to fit there! You should realize, your version is important!  In a vase of ideas, your flower might brighten up the bunch! Just put it there! Your openions! Your self,  and see how big it can impact! How bright it can reflect your growth, and how beautiful things will become there after! Just put it there in the bunch, cause you can never say, which flower is more beautiful!

It's been a while, A while, since I have started to learn to laugh at my demons To learn to be positive has taken me A year and a half. Now that I realize it's love that the world needs. A love that gives strength, and a love that accepts everything. When you spread love, you inoculate yourself, and others. After all, we are here to share a same planet, where does abhor take us! "Nowhere" Exactly nowhere! You will keep searching way in a maze of life! When you spread kindness, you stroll in your journey!

She was gone, a little by little, Now that she realizes, she is entirely gone. Just if you still think she is there, SHE IS GONE. A little when she was lied to, A little when she felt used, A little when she cried every night, A little when you refused to be by her side, A little when she tried not to kill herself, A little when she lost her skills, A little when she lost her mind, A little when she supplemented relief in other forms. A little when she never wanted to blame you for her void. And A little when she realized she lost her own self. Little by little, you fully lost her. And yes, she is now a deficult version of herself, she can see you and just smile, with no guilt, no pity, no agony or no hate. She can just wish for your happy being and yet be happy with her decision now. She has realized there are many things to confront in life. She has better plans now. She can't be a sweet stud anymore. Her views have grown from south to north. And she has made...

Yet I wanted to, I just could not wish my pappa today! strangely, a father who is not my father, has made me realize something today! I was sitting in a conversation, and I suddenly here him calling me, as I go to him, he says "hi (with my name added to it)" and then he gives me a shake hand, I could just feel the pain he was in, his hands were shivering, his voice was stammering, and his eyes were watering. All that I notice is, he was just in pain, A pain not of his body, but of his heart. A father, yes, A FATHER, he was in pain for his daughter, for his daughter who hided things from him, and for his daughter who is in pain now. The best of his words to his daughter's (I include me here) were, "Everyone does mistakes in life, it might be out of fear, anger, or out of mislead, but the best person is who correct's himself, and learns a lesson from it". And that moment, I just MISSES my pappa, I wanted to hug him, cry out loud, and tell him he was wrong, ...

life has given me a chance to learn a lot of things since i was a young girl. It has made me stronger day after day, and never gave me a chance to rest my mind. I admire to be a polymath. I strongly believe that there is power in pain, and their is pain in power. An urge to be a writer of feelings has made me create this blog! I wish to create a positive impact on someones life. Hoping to make the blog successful, I take an off :)